By Claire AH
When you sign up for Friend of a Friend Matchmaking, one of the first things we ask you to do is to fill out a questionnaire. This is how we get to know you before meeting up in-person, thus saving us all of the small-talk and getting right to the in-depth personalized discussions that most benefit you (and us)!
At the end of the questionnaire, everyone who signs up for Toronto matchmaking, Hamilton matchmaking or Ottawa matchmaking is asked to write a bio summarizing their entire essence in the third person.
Regardless of where you are, being asked to succinctly describe yourself is daunting. We've been told this is the hardest part of the questionnaire and we completely understand why. This is your calling card and your personal ad -- you want to put your best foot forward in your bio. And sometimes, the bios our clients submit fall a bit short.
The weakest bios we get back from our matchmaking clients tend to fall into four distinct categories:
People who write a CV bio (or a bio that reads more like a resume or LinkedIn profile) tend to take the act very seriously. They list their most marketable traits and accolades, itemizing things with clarity -- but perhaps a lack of warmth.
A solid sense of humour is an important thing to prospective matches, so it’s understandable that you might want to lead with something funny. That said, there’s a fine line between making a joke and sounding like you might treat the dating process like a joke.
You know that Meredith Brooks hit from the '90s? If your bio talks about your roles (mother, child, lover) then it may be a bit too vague. Ditto: loving to laugh, always looking on the bright side of life, having fun with your friends or taking long walks on the beach. People want to get a sense of you and your life -- they don't want generic sentences that could apply to most humans. Too many of these can make you seem like a stock character instead of the fascinating and complex individual we already know you are.
I can’t write it! You write it!
This is less of a bio and more of a statement. We can collaborate and find a bio together, but there is something to be said for seeing how you would describe yourself to a potential date. After all -- they want to date you! Not us.
So what should you actually do here?
All of the above -- but in the right measure
The ideal client bio mixes in some of your accomplishments, a little humour and perhaps a well-placed (or slightly recontextualized) platitude, plus maybe a little input from your friends or even your matchmaker. All of this leads to a well-balanced bio likely to give a pretty clear depiction of who you are and why you are definitely worth meeting!
PLEASE NOTE: when it comes to bios, do be kind to yourself and others. Bios are useful, but it’s good to avoid reading into them too much. Regardless of what people write, they’re not a complete picture and the style they choose doesn’t necessarily indicate much about the kind of person they are. If you’ve received an e-mail about them as a potential match, it was intentional and based on things that couldn’t possibly be captured in a few sentences, so don't say no just because their bio wasn't penned by Virginia Woolf or Ernest Hemingway. Some people are just better in person -- why deprive yourself of their wonderful company?