We can still talk about new year's resolutions, right? Good!
Here's a piece Friend of a Friend Matchmaking's founder Sofi originally wrote for the Toronto Star. We've tweaked it ever-so-slightly. The advice, while one year old, is still very sound.
A wise man or woman once said: “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” (It was either Albert Einstein, Mark Twain or Drake, depending on how well you Internet.) Want to increase your odds of finding a romantic relationship this year? You’ve got to change things up! Here are some practical dating resolutions that will increase your odds of finding love in 2018.
Do your colleagues and neighbours and dog walker and lawyer and dentist and condo board and knitting circle know you’re single? Tell them! And ask if they know anyone who might be a good fit for you. Feel weird about it? You’d do the same thing if you were job hunting, right? Networking your way into a date or two isn’t desperate; it’s proactive and resourceful.
Do stuff. Lots of it. The more you do stuff (join clubs, volunteer, take classes, etc.) the more likely it is that you’ll meet people who also like to do the stuff that you like to do. Doing stuff also makes you a more interesting person with more conversational ammo when you do go on a date.
(Note: do not fall into the trap of doing stuff that you don’t want to do simply because it might offer you a chance to meet someone. If it turns out there’s no one viable present, you’ll feel like a chump who wasted both time and money. Now let us never speak of that recreational curling league again.)
Second chances are key
You’re on a date. They’re nice but do not look like Ryan Gosling/Halle Berry. They crack a joke or two that makes you laugh and puts you at ease, but there are no firework or angelic trumpets in your heart. Do you go on a second date? Heck yes! Your former 2017 self probably would not have gone on date No. 2, but this shiny new 2018 version of you will!
Why? Because first dates are deceiving. People are nervous and awkward and not always their genuine selves. Plus, physical attraction can grow over time.
But wait -- there’s more! People in general can be annoying and awful, so if you find a person who makes you laugh and doesn’t strike you as immediately terrible, you should definitely bother getting to know them. Go on the second date already!
It’s easy to get into hibernation mode in months that include the letter R. Unfortunately, unless you’re online dating, your future spouse isn’t going to magically materialize while you’re eating Kraft Dinner on your couch (although this has always been a fantasy of mine). Even if it’s cold outside, head out to festivals, community events, fundraisers, fashion shows, birthday parties, concerts and comedy nights — anywhere you can mix and mingle with carbon-based beings who are not your cat.
Get a new job
I realize this is an extreme measure, but considering how many people meet their partners at the workplace, it’s worthy of your consideration. An inordinate number of our single female matchmaking clients work in fields dominated by women, such as teaching or book publishing. They tell me their colleagues are 90 per cent women and 10 per cent gay or married men. Seeking out a different career trajectory that still aligns with your interests and talents might just be worth exploring.
If you work from home, dedicate at least a couple of days a week to working from a pub or café. If you become a regular somewhere, you’ll likely start seeing some of the same faces and might even work up the nerve to strike up a conversation . . . eventually. (See next resolution.)
Actually engage strangers in polite conversation
Good luck with this one, Toronto!