It has been a sad, strange and difficult summer for many of us. Especially for those of us who live in the city of Toronto.
Jack Layton’s words have echoed in my head every time I’ve felt sadness, anger or despair about the state of things: "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."
We try our best at Friend of a Friend Matchmaking to be continually optimistic and to change the world in tiny, loving ways — like introducing lovely people to other lovely people who they may not have otherwise met. Sometimes, these connections are fleeting — one date and done. But other times, the connection turns into friendship or love, co-signed leases, mortgages, engagements, marriages and even children.
We’re happy to be doing what we’re doing. We know connecting people is a good way to inject hope, optimism and love into a difficult time and we love what we do.
Optimism is a difficult thing to hold onto when it comes to your own love life. Loneliness and past disappointments can easily dash our hopes of finding a lasting relationship. But we have to remember that the past is not necessarily an indicator of the future and that any day now, our love lives could change for the better.
When I started Friend of a Friend Matchmaking in 2013, I had been single for a decade. I had been on hundreds (thousands?) of disappointing dates and I watched with a mixture of happiness/sadness/frustration/anxiety over the years as my friends met people, married them and started families. I wondered if it would ever happen for me. I sincerely doubted that it would.
This weekend, I introduced the true love of my life to my parents for the first time. I felt nervous and excited but it went well. I know I’ve finally found the person who feels like home to me.
I went to a client wedding a few weeks ago (the photo at the top of this post is of their gorgeous wedding arch — the rain cleared up just in time for the ceremony) and I was nearly in tears during their vows because I remembered the loneliness of both of these people during our matchmaking interviews. I heard about their broken relationships and broken hearts and unrequited crushes and vast disappointments. Fast forward a few years and here they both were — in love, looking radiant and surrounded by everyone important to them.
Love changes everything. Time heals everything.
This summer, let’s take steps to heal our hearts and bring on the hope.
Because hope is something we need now more than ever.